Thursday, July 05, 2007

You know You're ----tian if...

So, this was really, really funny to my roommate and I, but I'm not sure you'll get it if you've never lived in the Middle East. Enjoy if you can!!!

40 ways to know your ---tian:

Your Mom hits u with anything that is near her, anything from a shoe to a bowl

Your parents brag about you even if you're bad

A visa is not a credit card. ...

Your parents say you're becoming Americanized anytime you get into trouble.

You can spot an Arab a mile away and they have spotted at you because they keep staring. ..

Your parents want you to become a doctor or engineer (mohandis kida ad el donia ! lol)

You use your forehead and eyebrows to point something out...

You have at least thirty cousins. ...

You arrive one or two hours late to a party and think it's normal.

You are standing next to the largest suitcases at the Airport.

You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house....

When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover they know one of your
uncles back home. ...

Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls. ..

Your relatives alone could populate a small city.....

You still came back home to live with your parents after you graduate...

Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day, sokar zeyada

You've had a shoe thrown at you by your mother

Your mother calls you "Mommy" or "Ma" and your father calls you "Dad"

You blame the Yahood for eveything!

You get pissed when an Arab is displayed as a Terrorist in a Movie.

You also get pissed when the Yahood are the good guys

You go to Arabic Resturants, tell the owners your Arab, and think you're going to get free food.

You've seen a belly dancer at least once in your life, and secretly, behind closed doors have attempted shakin it to nancy or amr diab !

You use Arabic bread as a utensil

You have piles of coupons all over your table

You are always right

You have at least 1 picture/object resembling a camel in your house

YOU'RE PROUD TO BE AN ARAB, and even more---TIAN but in a way dont consider yourself arab, as arabs r those gulffiiiesss and were jus better!

you say 'el' infront of ever single word and a 'ya3ni' between the words u utter.

Your family eats koushari and loves it, others do not understand the concept...ALL those carbs..TOGETHER?

You're fat and blame it on your parents, or you're bald

Your taunt asks you when she can dance at your wedding

You smoke as if it were your last day on earth...and you only smoke shisha tofah or mishmish, and maybe cantaloB, and even better, TOFAH-LAMON

You pronounce "the things" za sings"

You put tahina in and on everything and brag about how healthy it is

You gossip about your own family...with members of your own family

Your aunts and uncles have more than 4 kids

You eat kofta at least 4 times a week

You cook a meal that lasts a week

You pity anyone who is not an ----tian and think all other cultures are morally corrupt

You have fruit trees in your backyard and when they are in season you live off of them

You watch the hell out of the Arabic channel

You have billions of cousins

At weddings it takes the bride and groom 4 hours to kiss all the guests and everybody hits their drink with their forks

You "get down" from the car instead of "getting out" of it

You act like you want to pay, but in reality you hate to pay

You have a gold necklace of your name written in Arabic

You own and/or play a tubleh

Your middle name is your father's first name

You never pay the tolls on the highway

You play cards till the break of dawn

Your Mom says things like: put za sings in za sing

You can't have a meal without aish

If you are an ---tian woman you dye your hair an obviously fake shade of blonde that is nonexistent in nature and swear that it's natural

You feel proud when someone famous or a celebrity has any Arabic blood in them

You teach your American friends Arabic words (mostly bad ones) and get happy when they use them in normal conversations

You have five different foods at your dinner table

If you're a single ---tian guy, your Mom tries to get u married when you're 12

You consider everone foreigner not as good as ----tians but every ---tian bee2a

Your favorite food is warah aneb, but you are embarrassed to tell your friends that you eat LEAVES for dinner

You get really happy and call the whole family to the room when there is a special or documentary on ----tians or anything Arabic related on CNN or BBC

Your father swears at you with words that effect himself

1 comment:

Lesli said...

I'm sorry but...I don't get it. Not one...sorry. :) But I read them all! That counts for something, right?